Written by Elysian Huyz
These days am so busy I don’t have time to think,
The job doesn’t pay much but I do it anyways
It takes so much that at the end of the day I don’t have energy enough to feel
I just fall into the loneliest corner of my bed and drain out whatever memory I had of you.
This is a good thing,
Considering am an insomniac.
It usually takes 30 minutes before I realize I should probably sleep.
Then thoughts of impending doom start flying into my head.
Lately I’ve not been able to write.
I get inspiration once in a while,
When she mistakenly trips into my mind.
Then it aches…
I don’t know which.
I love Mondays.
I abandoned the father
So on Sundays I don’t get down on my knees to pray
I just sit and reminice on the pain
The incident that occurred 7 months
20 days and some hours ago
No, am not counting.
Am sorry you left me
It was probably my fault
Probably because I didn’t realize how empty I’d be without you breathing down my neck,
I didn’t realize how important you were
I thought you’d always be there
Always be mine
I never dreamt of leaving you so I felt our dreams were the same.
So this is just a futile attempt to hide from you
But it’s working,
At least for the time being.
Last night I had a dream which confirms that you’re rooted in my subconscious.
I was on a road,
I saw you from a distance
From what I couldn’t understand.
So as I always do I went down that road chasing after you.
In the dream I catch up with you
You hug me and kiss me
You say you miss me
You regret leaving
You love me.
As I write this, the dream fades from my mind,
the scenery of your elusive presence is erased.
I woke up realizing it was night and I was alone
You were never here all along.
Tomorrow is Monday
But no matter how hard I work
No matter how hard I try to forget,
I can never for get myself
And that’s what I made you into – me.
So when Monday comes I’ll continue my futile efforts to get rid of the you in myself.
Art: Wyeth Andrew